How To Demotivate an Employee: Phases Of a Conflict

In every broken employer-employee relationship, there are a few phases of the conflict, and multiple events foreshadowing the eventual collapse. On their first day, every employee comes to their new job with high hopes and loads of enthusiasm. After all, no one would accept a job from any boss if they were suspecting that it would be a disaster… Everything is so new and shiny — almost like a honeymoon! Then, the employee starts learning about the company: all the written and unwritten rules, the procedures, the duties, the hierarchy, the social relations, the opportunities, the dos and don’ts. Subsequently, the employee slowly starts integrating into the company culture. This requires developing an identity within the company. “What is my edge? What do I want to be known for in this company? How do I want to be perceived?” The integration process often goes smoothly. But sometimes, something goes wrong — namely, the employee discovers that they can’t fulfill their ambitions. They just can’t grow into what they would like to become under the umbrella of their current employer. This feeling often goes along with the feeling of being undervalued and/or not taken seriously enough. And this is when the tension starts.

The Phases of Descent

So, the employee asks for changing/increasing their scope of responsibilities, promotion, or a raise. And, they immediately encounter resistance from the employer’s side. It is because the employer has their own vision for the company’s future. They don’t have any intention to change the company’s structure or culture for the employee for the sake of that person’s satisfaction. It’s rather that, they aim to reward the employee for the excelling performance within the current system. Hence, the resistance. If the employer doesn’t notice the problem and continues with the projects without making some favors to the employee, the only way from this point is down. What happens then? Well, the employee’s motivation gradually drops. At some point, the connection between the employer and employee falls off into the “dead zone.” In this situation, every action from the other side is interpreted as a sign of bad intentions, even if the intentions were nothing but positive. Since the employee feels frustrated about the fact that the reality much differs from their original expectations towards the job, they are no longer willing to cooperate with the employer. As a result, no standard motivation strategy (such as a prestigious business trip or a raise) could encourage the employee to work with a smile on their face. Typically, there is no motivation left at all at this point. Usually, it means that the employee does the bare minimum at work, and is actively searching for other options after working hours. At this point in time, a raise might even literally infuriate them rather than motivating them.

The Dance

The point is: motivation is all about the timing. Jim got a raise at the point when he was so fresh in the company that he didn’t even expect it to happen. Hannah got a raise when she was already so tired of her boss rejecting her ideas that nothing would make her happy at this point. And, that was way more than enough to demotivate an employee. Employers often treat giving a raise as a safety button in case the employee’s motivation goes down. But this doesn’t work! With giving a raise, it’s the same as giving someone flowers: it works best when the person doesn’t expect the gift. Or, when they expect the gift and receive a bouquet that is even more beautiful than anticipated. On the contrary, it works the worst when they anticipated the gift, and got it one day later. So, with motivating an employee it’s a bit like with dancing. It is crucial to find the right points in time to make little pushes and pulls in order to lead the person in the right direction in a way that they don’t even feel like led. Such as a little raise when they least expect it. * * * Please cite as: Bielczyk, N. (2020). How to (de)Motivate an Employee? Retrieved from https://welcome-solutions.com/all-posts/management-tools-and-strategies/how-to-demotivate-an-employee/